There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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