I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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