too bad you live with your parents still
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
