my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize