Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
