Operation Purity has been aborted
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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