just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
