Ambien. No doubt about it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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