My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Boobs speak an international language.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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