I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My feet surprised me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
