and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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