just survived the first fart of the relationship.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
