Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.

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(631): View more from New York

I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.

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(361): View more from Texas

When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard

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(803): View more from South Carolina

There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.

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(631): View more from New York

The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse

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