Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
