We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
