I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
