I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
