; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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