She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am available for nakedness
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
