i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
