I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
