Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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