Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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