Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He better not be in your backpack
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
