I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I got her a Nickelback box set.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
