Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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