so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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