I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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