She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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