i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have post one night stand depression
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