Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
