Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
