I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
