i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
