Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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