before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
