so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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