Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize