i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
