How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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