Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
