her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize