I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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