My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
