Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
