PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
