was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
