your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize