I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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