Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
