Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
