youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
