I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
