My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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