There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
