My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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