the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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