yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize