Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Swine flu is the new snow day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
