she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
