Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
