WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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