the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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