...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
